How to Write an Obituary: A Complete Guide With Examples

An obituary is one of the first things a family writes after a loved one dies. It is also one of the hardest. You are asked to capture an entire life in a few short paragraphs, in the middle of grief, often within a day or two. There is rarely time to get it right by yourself.

This guide will give you a clear structure, real examples, and the gentle perspective to write an obituary that honors who they were — without the pressure of perfection.

Obituary vs. Eulogy: What Is the Difference?

People often confuse the two, but they serve different purposes.

• An obituary is a written announcement of a death, typically published in a newspaper, on a funeral home website, or on a memorial page. It is read by many people who may not have known the person well.
• A eulogy is a spoken tribute given at the funeral or memorial service. It is more personal, told to a smaller circle of people who knew and loved them.

An obituary informs. A eulogy remembers. You may write both — and that is more common than you think.

What to Include in an Obituary

A complete obituary typically contains six elements. You do not need every one — choose what matters most.

1. Announcement of the death

The person's full name, age, the city where they lived, and the date of death. Sometimes the cause of death is included, sometimes not — that is the family's choice.

2. A brief biography

Where they were born, when, and to whom. A short summary of their life path — education, career, military service, faith, or community involvement. Two or three sentences is enough.

3. Family relationships

Surviving family members are usually listed by name and relationship. Predeceased family members are sometimes mentioned too, often phrased as "preceded in death by..."

4. The qualities and passions that made them who they were

This is the soul of the obituary. What did they love? What were they known for? What will their family miss most? This is where the obituary stops being a record and becomes a tribute.

5. Service information

Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial service. If there is a viewing or reception, include that too. For private services, simply state "a private service will be held."

6. Donations or contributions

Many families include a line directing well-wishers to donate to a meaningful charity in lieu of flowers. This is optional but appreciated.

A Simple Obituary Structure

Here is a reliable template you can adapt:

1. Opening sentence: Announce the death with name, age, and place.
2. Biographical paragraph: Where and when they were born, family of origin, and the broad shape of their adult life.
3. Character paragraph: Who they were — their passions, their warmth, the way they showed up in the world.
4. Family paragraph: Surviving and predeceased family members.
5. Service paragraph: Where and when family and friends can gather.
6. Closing line: A donation request, a favorite quote, or a final tribute.

A Sample Obituary

Margaret Eleanor Hayes, 78, of Bridgewater, passed away peacefully at home on March 14, 2026, surrounded by her family.

Born on September 9, 1947, in Halifax, Nova Scotia, to Robert and Anne Whitman, Margaret moved to Bridgewater as a young woman and made it her home for the rest of her life. She graduated from Dalhousie University in 1969 and worked as a high school librarian for thirty-two years, where she introduced generations of students to the books that would shape them.

Margaret was a constant gardener, a fierce Scrabble player, and the kind of grandmother who always had something baking in the oven. She knew the name of every dog in the neighborhood and most of the people too. Her laugh — sudden and full — was the soundtrack of every gathering she attended.

She is survived by her husband of 54 years, David Hayes; her children, Sarah (Mark) and Thomas (Lila); and her four grandchildren, Owen, Beatrix, Eliot, and June. She was preceded in death by her brother, Charles Whitman.

A celebration of Margaret's life will be held at St. Mark's Anglican Church on Saturday, March 22, at 11:00 a.m. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that donations be made to the Bridgewater Public Library in her memory.

How Long Should an Obituary Be?

Most published obituaries are between 200 and 500 words. Newspaper obituaries are often charged by the line or word, so length can matter financially. Online memorial pages have no such limit — feel free to write longer there.

If in doubt: shorter and more specific beats longer and more general. A short obituary with one vivid detail will be remembered. A long one full of generalities will be skimmed.

Tone: How Personal Should It Be?

There is a tradition of writing obituaries in a formal, almost ceremonial tone. That is fine. But modern obituaries increasingly allow personality through — a touch of humor, a specific quirk, a phrase the person used to say. If it sounds like them, include it.

One of the most-shared obituaries in recent memory ended with: "In lieu of flowers, please go find someone you love and tell them so." Real, specific, and unmistakably them.

Where to Publish

You have more options than ever:

• The local newspaper. Still common, especially for older generations who read print.
• The funeral home's website. Almost every funeral home publishes obituaries on their site, often for free as part of their service.
• An online memorial page. A platform like Memorual lets you publish the obituary alongside photos, stories, tributes, and a place for friends and family to leave messages. The obituary becomes part of a living memorial, not just an announcement.
• Social media. A shorter version on Facebook or another platform reaches younger family and friends quickly.

Writing Tips From the Heart

• Write the boring parts last. Start with the qualities and stories. The dates and lists are easy to add at the end.
• Read it aloud. Anything that sounds wrong probably is.
• Show it to two people who loved them. They will spot a small detail you missed and warm the whole piece.
• It does not have to be perfect. A loved obituary is one that is honest, not one that wins a writing prize.

One Final Note

Writing about someone in the past tense for the first time is one of the strangest experiences of grief. You may feel both numb and overwhelmed, sometimes in the same paragraph. That is normal. Take breaks. Ask for help. The right words will come — even if they come slowly.

If you are using Memorual to create a memorial, your obituary becomes the opening of a much larger tribute. You can add photos, invite stories, and watch the page grow as friends and family contribute their own pieces of who they were. It is a way of keeping the story alive — not just announcing the loss, but holding the life.